


It's Driving Me Mad

by nitpickyabouttrains



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force feels, but it felt like one, capital F Force, it might not have been a challenge, so this happened, there was a mix, what boys smell like in fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8169082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitpickyabouttrains/pseuds/nitpickyabouttrains
Summary: Because the thing was, she had been having the strangest dreams. Vivid and real, ones she was able to remember the next day. 
And they had all been about him. About Kylo Ren.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Angelheadedhipster made this mix. It's really good. And then this happened. 
> 
> I regret nothing. 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/126061883/playlist/5cZt1JrLzno0RHMtQDjQQN

“I should kill you,” Kylo Ren said, not turning around, not looking at her.

Rey had just walked into the room. Well, it was really more of a cave. Dark and dripping, with only a beam of natural light coming in from the outside, where both suns were cresting down.

She had barely stepped in and there he was.

Just standing there.

After all this time.

“Why aren’t you?” Rey asked, taking a deep breath. She clenched her fists, each hand closing in on itself.

It was a valid question. The last time they had seen each other, they fought. And not the sort of fighting where someone holds back, either. A real battle where she was not sure she was going to live.

That had happened more and more recently. Her life had gone from quiet, tough and hard and thankless, but calm, to action packed. And a lot of that was because of him.

Yet now there he was, just standing on her island, where she was training. Luke was fine, she was sure of that, she had just left him on the other side of the island, after a long day of exercises. And there was no one else here. Not even with Kylo Ren, because she would have seen them outside, or sensed their presence. He could shield himself but not a whole platoon of backup.

He had come alone.

Curious.

“You know why,” he said shortly, turning around, so that they were facing each other. He was not wearing his helmet, so she could see his face, his eyes, his expression. It was unreadable.

His hair was long, it wanted for cutting. And for washing, it was starting to string, looking heavy and oily. This was a man who had not yet learned to take care of himself. If she were someone else, and they were somewhere else, she would reach over and brush the hair out of his eyes, tuck it behind his ear, ask him what was wrong.

“I don’t actually,” she said honestly. She looked him in the eyes, met his gaze. It was sharp and calculating, and strangely pleading.

“So you haven’t been-” he stopped himself and let out a low frustrated sound, almost a growl. “You haven’t seen-”

Rey tightened her hands, her nails digging into her palms, to stop herself from jumping into his sentence and speaking. Because the thing was, she had been having the strangest dreams. Vivid and real, ones she was able to remember the next day.

And they had all been about him. About Kylo Ren.

She had thought they were just that, dreams. But now standing there, across from him, hearing him mention seeing something, it occurred to her that maybe it was more then that.

“The dreams,” she said, the words coming out as a whisper.

“So you do know,” Kylo said, sounding smug. “You have been seeing what I do, night after night. The Force, it-”

“It connects us,” Rey said slowly, as she puzzled it out. Her dreams never involved talking, they never involved fighting. But it was always the Force, connecting her to the worlds, to people, to him. And it was always powerful.

Lights and colors and sounds, and a feeling of rightness. That was what she always took away with her, when she woke from these dreams. But it never would have occurred to her to go find him, to talk to him about them. They were meaningless, just a manifestation of what she was learning with Luke, as her connection to the force grew stronger.

Kylo nodded, and then very deliberately took a step forward, toward her. “They mean something, I know they do. But I don’t know what. I have to know.”

He said it like a statement, like it was a given fact. He needed to know. He would know. There wasn’t a choice. Rey could not help but admire the single-mindedness of it, how sure he was.

“Well, I don’t know,” Rey said with a shrug. “If you came here for answers, you would be better off asking Luke. He-”

“NO,” Kylo said, cutting her off abruptly. He took another step forward, this one much less careful, and reached out his hand, as if he was going to physically stop her from going to get Luke. “No, we don’t need to go to him. I think I know what to do.”

“Okay then,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him. “Tell me.”

“I think it has to do with the balance, the dark and the light sides of the Force,” Kylo said, his eyes meeting hers with intensity, like he was daring her to say he was wrong.

Rey nodded, that much followed what she had learned. But then, they did have the same teacher. Luke had been Kylo’s mentor too for awhile. “And you think the Force is trying to tell us something about the balance?”

“I think the Force needs to be fused, into one,” Kylo said.

He moved forward again, this time fast, so that there was barely a half inch of space between them. Rey could feel the heat radiating off of his body, could see each rise and fall of his chest. The smell of him was strong in her nose, like plastic and sweat and the most humid part of a summer day. He was her enemy, yet the closeness felt strangely right.

“What does that mean?” Rey asked, her eyes locked into his, waiting for him to give something away.

“It means,” he said, huffing, “this.”

And then he was kissing her. Hot desperate lips, pressing into her. Her whole body responded before she realized it, her lips parting for him, her arms going around his neck. He cupped her cheek, and Rey leaned into his touch.

Where their skin touched, where their lips met, she felt like she was on fire. Hot electricity ran through her skin, setting her alight, her every nerve ending alive.

It was not the first time she had been kissed, but it was the first time it had ever felt like this. This kiss was like nothing she had ever experienced before.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was the Force.

She pulled her head back, just a little, so there was a thin space of air between their faces. But she kept her hands on him, and he on her, the heat still emanating from where they touched.

“What was that?” she asked, her voice thick and heavy through her kiss-bruised lips. “Is it what you thought?”

“No,” he said, but there was a small smirk on the corner of his mouth. And he did not look at all sorry.


End file.
